Mommy

My daughter calls me "Mommy."  I like it; that's who I am to her.  I am her "mommy" - there is only one other person in the world who has called me Mommy (he grew out of it - punk).  It's my title in my home, but don't confuse it with a descriptor of who I am - the term does not define me.

I hate (loathe, destest, despise, abhor, anathematize) the term "mommy" when used by adult women to describe themselves.

I think it stems from the fact that part of the problem with many kids today is their sense of entitlement.  They've been given everything they've ever wanted from the moment they graced their parents' lives.  There is a sense in young people that just because they are alive, they don't have to work for anything.  And it comes back to their "mommies" in the end.

This new breed of mother, the "mommies," are women who are now making their children the focus of their whole world.  Their entire identity is wrapped up in their children, giving all of their time and energy over to the kids.  Giving, giving, giving - all the time.  And the kids learn to take, take, take with no thought of anyone but themselves. 

My mom was a stay at home mom until I was about 7 when she had to rejoin the workforce.  Even still, when she was at home, I knew that I was not the sole focus of her life.  That's not to say that we didn't spend time together, but she had a home to run and other kids to take care of.  I got pawned off on the older siblings at times or was sent outside to play and get out of her hair.  My happiness, while I know that my mom wanted to make sure I was happy, was not the whole of her job.  She taught me to find happiness on my own and to think about things on my own, without her.  Life doesn't work that way.  The best moms teach their kids to be independent.

And that's an issue I have with the "mommies" today.  Their kids are never on their own!  Mommy is always there (helicopter mom), ensuring little darling's happiness at all moments.  Mommy has to be sure that the apple of her eye is perfectly comfortable with everything he or she wants to be fulfilled (no, I didn't say need - I don't dismiss that these women provide for the needs of their children, for the most part).  Little princess always get a toy when out shopping with Mommy.  Little buddy has all the video game systems and every new game that comes out.  Mommy is always there, ensuring happiness, but never allowing Junior to learn that sometimes life brings disappointment, sometimes life makes you wait for what you want.

All this is just to say that the phrase, "I'm a mommy," really drives me up the wall.  Some will think I'm a bad mother, but whatever.  I know I'm doing it right.  My kids will be strong, independent members of society.  They will treat others with respect, and they will never expect to get something they don't deserve.  And that's because I'm only Mommy by title.  My actual job description is educator: I am teaching my kids how to live in the real world!  And to do that, my kids have seen their mom in all her roles, not just one: mom, teacher, friend, sister, daughter, girlfriend, TV junkie, writer, editor, helper (there's more, but I'm tired)....

Now, if I could only get these women to see themselves as more, too.

 

Opportunity

Many have heard the saying, "When opportunity knocks, open the door."

But I think this quote by Louis L'Amour says it better: "Some say opportunity knocks only once.  That is not true.  Opportunity knocks all the time, but you have to be ready for it.  If the chance comes, you must have the equipment to take advantage of it." 

So I am always on the lookout for opportunities, whatever they may be.  Usually, I am looking for opportunities of the writing or editing variety that I can squeeze in to my already hectic teaching schedule.  There aren't many legitimate opportunities posted on Craigslist, but every so often something interesting shows up.  Earlier this week, I was hunting around the writing gigs section and there was an ad for someone to create an office procedures manual using existing memos.  I sent email inquiry email (no resume, just to find out if it was actually legit).  I got a response - email my resume or fax it.  I looked up the name of the sender and cross-checked the fax number.  Yep, legit!  I updated my resume and emailed it.

I got a call the next day to come in to the office and fill out an application and take a test.  I asked what kind of test they wanted me to take.  A DISC personality test..... o-k.  I wondered if I should save them trouble and just let them know that I'm a C-D (and have been the past few times I've taken it). Nah, I figured I'd take it again and see what came up.  So yesterday, was my appointment.  I showed up on time, looking professional, ready to impress. 

After filling out the standard job application and taking the test, making sure I chose all the C-D answers I could (oooooh subversive...), I took another test - word use, patterns, math, etc.  It made me sympathize with my students for a moment.  Then I got to the good part - reviewing the binder of memos they want turned into a manual.  So far so good.  Thank goodness for my brief foray into medical assisting - I still remember terminology and abbreviations.  Finally, they asked me to prepare a proposal, so they could make a decision that day between me and another person.  They never did tell me what I scored on the DISC test, but I'm guessing it's the same as usual (exacting, systematic, and likes rules and procedures with a mix of assertiveness and determination).

This is where the other part of Louis L'Amour's quote comes in.  I had a solid chance of getting this job and bringing in some extra cash to help us with our financial goals.  And I knew I had the equipment to take advantage of it.  I drove home wondering how I was going to write a proposal, then realized I spent nearly 6 editing then writing proposals at the old job.  And I knew that I could do the job because before I left the old job, I put those nearly 6 years of job duties into a reference manual, just like the one this company was asking for.  I got this.

The response to my proposal? "Would you like to start Monday?"  Yep, I got this.  I answered the door.

More opportunity quotes at Quote Garden.

Start.

I want to blog, I start blogging, I stop blogging, I start a new blog.... Here is the newest incarnation of my fascination with blogging... I am always awestruck by people who keep regular blogs, those who actually update them and write silly, fun, witty posts and have people actually read them! Wow! So I am going to give it a shot - I am going to blog!